THOMAS VERRETTE / filmmaker

“I’ve thought about starting a blog for a long time, putting all my triumphs and failures out there for the world to read. What’d you think?!”, I said.

“Why? Isn’t blogging just a way for you to get wrapped up in thinking that people actually care about what you think? And I’m not talking about your friends, Tom. I mean real people. If you ask me, it all sounds really self-indulgent.”

“Damnit John! I want to blog!”

And there you have it. If nobody reads this, then so be it, but I want a record of my long, perilous journey to the summit of Mount Director, the tallest peak in all of Directorland (for the record, Directorland is ficticious, but I want to live there). Also, that conversation never happened except inside my head, and I don’t have any friends named John, so you can either assume, a) I am crazy; b) I have multiple-personality disorder; c) I see life as a series of film scenes, therefore I am crazy; or d) I see life as a series of film scenes, therefore I am crazy but exceptionally worthy of writing this blog.

I pick D.

If you haven’t figured it out yet, I am rusty when it comes to blogging. They say you’re supposed to just go with the flow, spill out whatever goes through your head, but all I can help but think is who says these things?! I’ve been thinking about this blog for far too long, and now all this nonsense is jumping around in my head like a racquetball court full of bouncy balls.

“Alright Tom, so what is it going to be about?”

I took a deep breath as if it was my one chance to pitch the next big blockbuster. “I just made this film, spent three years making it, and now I’m in Los Angeles. I am the epitamy of the aspiring filmmaker–”

“–I thought they said to never say aspiring–”

“–Shut up, John. The point is that I am in a unique situation. I have a film and a dream, and I’ve learned so much because of what I’ve already accomplished the hard way. I’ve realized that there is no one to follow. Everyone always says, ‘you just gotta’ do it!’ but I can’t help but think, ‘what the hell does that mean?’ I’m not saying I’m worthy of being followed (Twitter only please), but I think that there might be some people out there that could learn from my mistakes. And not just from my last film, but for each one to follow. What it took to reach that next step, and what was lost in the process. Hell, if another filmmaker did that, I’d read it.”

The inside-my-head-John stood up. He was excited, but that’s because he’s me. “Sounds good.”

I smiled.

“Let me know if it makes any money” he said, walking out of my head.

“It’s not about the money!” I yelled back, “It’s about the process!”. It was too late. The inside-my-head-John was already outside my head, leaving me all alone, sitting in front of my computer with that devilish cursor blinking at me. It was eerily similar to the start of a new screenplay — that first big, white, blank page.

And so I began, “Today is a great day!”